Living Life After a Paradigm Crash – How to Move Forward When the Life You Have Created Falls Apart


Have you ever determined to be, do or have something then set out to create and design the steps and actions to manifest your desired want into your life?

When I was in college I determined that I would become an international fashion model and my husband (my boyfriend at the time) determined he would become an NBA basketball player. Together we determined the age we would be when we got married, when we would have our first child, how many children we would have, the kind of community we wanted to live in and all sorts of life plans-and with extraordinary details. We accomplished all of this, and even more. Our lives were totally exhilarating and we were playing our life games full-out and with passion. But what we didn’t envision or plan was the death of Justin.

We experienced a paradigm crash-everything in our lives shattered into more than a million little pieces-following Justin’s accidental death, our youngest child at the time. Almost every decision that my husband and I made seemed wrong. But, after many months of spiritual coaching, self development and a circle of phenomenal friends who refused to give up on me; I began to reevaluate my life and my values and I made a conscious decision to create a new vision for myself and my family.

I came to the conclusion that in order for me to move forward in a dynamically effective way-a way that would position me to live an exciting and meaningful life again, a life by my own design, I had to determine a new ideal for myself and the process had to start right where I was-with me.

Life is a game and there are games within the games, and of course, we should play our chosen games full out. But understand that all games do come to and end at some point. However, when we choose to play again we can select a new game within the game or we can create something new all together. A paradigm crash means the end of a particular life game. Also, that’s what depression is-the end of a game. In order to move forward in my life again I had to create a new life game for myself so I could have something wonderful and specific to direct my life-flow, my positive life energy into. The following three questions would not leave me until I could answer them specifically.

1. “Who am I” I asked myself

2. “Who do I want to become?”

3. “What do I want to contribute to the world?”

I had to define a new ideal and create a new life game, a new reality for myself. A determined ideal is much bigger than a goal, although goals are instrumental in reaching your ideal.

A determined ideal is a clear, three-dimensional, holographic picture you hold in your mind’s eye of who you are, how you want to live your life and the life-flow that is suitable for your well being. With your determined ideal you will be able to create a strategic life plan to help you to make good on the vision you hold in your mind’s eye for your new life game.

By creating a new ideal for your life it allows you to direct your energy into a new productive game. This new game provides you with a sense of worthiness which gives you your self-confidence and personal power back following the paradigm crash-the end of your previous game.

Without a determined ideal-a new game to direct your life energy into you lose your power. This is what happened to me and my life. I lost my power following the death of my son. My energy became fragmented and dispersed into insignificant tasks, resulting in busyness that added up to nothing! The paradigm that I had been accustomed to operating from no longer existed. But I continually tried to run my life from that crashed paradigm.

Because we are wives, husbands, mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, friends, professionals, entrepreneurs, community leaders and spiritual beings, we must determine our values and how we want our ideal life to flow. Trust me, I do understand that many areas of our lives are important, but what do you really value? Who do you really want to become? What do you really want to contribute to your self, your family, your friends, your community, and to all of humanity?


Your inner essence is waiting to express itself fully-it is waiting for you, darling-to unfold into your best-balanced life; your real life-Your Real Self.

After determining your ideal for your best life, your daily decisions and actions will become more meaningful, manageable and enjoyable. You will have the tools to bring everything back into perspective and alignment when things began to slip off balance, reminding yourself what is important in your life based on your determined ideal and your design for your life.

Determine your ideal, darling, then create an inspired and inspiring life for yourself-a life that you will absolutely adore. I’m doing it, and millions of others are doing it as well, and I know you can do it too. Are you ready to start living life fabulously?


Chloé Taylor Brown is the president and CEO of Total Image Enhancement, a business development and lifestyle specialist firm in Atlanta, Georgia–USA. She is an image enhancement and lifestyle specialist, life by design POWER coach, author, and speaker. Her secret formula is her gift of combining personal experiences with cutting-edge techniques and systems to deliver powerful keynotes, presentations and workshops that get people out of their head and into their life,

She also provides one-on-one POWER coaching to executives, entertainers, socialites, and individuals in transition, as well as image power training and team building workshops to organizations like The Home Depot, Price Waterhouse Coopers, Avon Corporation, Georgia Institute of Technology and others.

Chloé Taylor Brown is the author of Getting Ready Chloé-Style: Perfecting Your Authentic Image and Determine Your Ideal: Creating a Life of Fulfillment and Prosperity,


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About sonny

Musician, Hypnotist, & Professional Cool Guy He is affectionately known as The Love Hypnotist for his work Mending Broken Hearts & helping people Find True Love.
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1 Response to Living Life After a Paradigm Crash – How to Move Forward When the Life You Have Created Falls Apart

  1. sonny says:

    Reblogged this on The Sunny Side and commented:

    because.. some breakups are inevitable – sending love – S

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